Thursday, October 12, 2006
Do geese like jelly beans?
In the midst of a horrible day, I took my books to Freedom Park for a little scenery to go along with my anxiety attack. There I heard a little boy ask, “Mom, do geese like jelly beans?” He also asked her if geese hang out under willow trees because that’s where they like to have parties. Could anything be cuter? Sometimes I think that life and education are mostly about getting back to that place of freeing your mind enough to just wonder.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Careful, now. Anthropomorphizing birds is the first step toward voting Republican.
Really? Because I thought shooting birds was the first step toward voting Republican. Bonus points awarded for missing the bird and taking aim upon your lawyer friend instead.
I am afraid that you have not given this sufficient thought, though your original post is riddled with clues that seem pretty obvious. For your benefit and for the benefit of your readers, please allow me to present a logical proof that illustrates why I am right.
Premise: Anthropomorphizing birds is the first step toward voting Republican.
The incident you described happened in Freedom Park. Ronald Reagan loved Freedom. Ronald Reagan also loved jelly beans (this is well-documented; check out this link if you want the evidence http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/reference/facts.html). Ronald Reagan is also dead. Now, according to the Reagan library website, Reagan's favorite bible verse was John 3:16 which specifically mentions "everlasting life". This is pretty clear proof that Reagan was actually a crypto-Hindu who believed in reincarnation. So, if Reagan liked jelly beans, and the goose likes jelly beans, the goose is "propter hoc" Reagan (reincarnated). And by giving the goose jelly beans, you are tacitly admitting as much and therefore are supporting Reagan and his agenda for America. And if you support that, you are only one step away from casting a vote for Rick Santorum in 2008. Anthropomorphizing birds ---> voting Republican. Q.E.D.
So, please, be careful.
Dr.Slojak-Pittman
Professor Emeritus, Mathematics and Logic
University of California, Berkeley
and Proprietor-in-Chief of Slojak's Cigars, Oakland, California. Check out my profile in the latest edition of "Cigar Smoking". I am pictured with George Clooney.
Brilliantly argued, Professor! I offer my most humble apologies for my earlier ignorance. (Bonus points awarded for the John 3:16-"crypto-Hindu" association. Dr. S-P, you're my hero.)
Post a Comment