1. The people chanting “USA” at McCain rallies are idiots. While chanting in general doesn’t signal much in the way of brain activity, chanting “USA” (á la Homer Simpson) in a race between Americans is just silly.
2. A sleepy Tim Russert begins to look like a Muppet. He’s the love child of Statler and Waldorf.
3. CNN’s gadget budget is out of control.
4. The media love a good sports analogy, whether or not it makes sense. “This is the ninth inning, bases loaded. Clinton’s at bat, Obama’s on deck. The pitcher, the American mom, throws the curveball of independent voters through the air of possible recession…”
5. Wolf Blitzer is a condescending jerk.
6. Brian Williams is a dreamboat and I love him.
7. Most voters have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. The “man on the street” interviews are arguments against democracy.
8. What’s with all the diners? Are these people campaigning in 1955?
9. Most common phrase coming from a candidate: “Now I don’t know about you, but I think… [insert common sense idea here].”
10. It’ll be a long, painful road to November.
2 comments:
1. Ah, but you've missed the important distinction between the "USA" of Republicans and the "U.S." of us treehugger-nihilists.
2. My favorite muppet is Sweetums.
3. What kind of gadgets? I don't have a TV anymore (yes, treehugger-nihilist-PINKO, I know).
4. I told you, "Mitt" First-baseman Romney is totally swinging for the fences.
5. But ol' Wolfy's got a totally cool name.
6. Bo-ring name. Brian. Williams. Yeah, along with about a thousand other people. Yawn.
7. I'm not a man, you silly-billy. (And most people are stupid.)
8. Are these like Waffle Houses? 'Cause I'm boycotting them. I ate in one outside of Chatanooga that was creepy AND grimey, and I'm not going there again, even if I could meet an also-ran.
9. "Is this a good idea? Yes. Am I going to follow through with this? You bet. Am I the right candidate for change? Absolutely."
10. Ugh.
If they were, in fact, campaigning in 1955, wouldn't they be saying something about states' rights and other thinly veiled racist remarks? Wait a second, I think Huckabee just did that...
I don't know about you, but I want a president who will fight terrorism, who will stimulate the economy, who will make America more competitive in the Global economy, and someone who will give me interchangable and mindless platitudes. Oh, and they should be an agent for change...of something.
p.s. read "Amusing ourselves to death" for one explanation for many of the ills that you've diagnosed.
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